Memories and reflections – Mum (1925 to 2013) Childhood Mum and Dad were determined to ensure both Richard and I had a normal childhood. Frequent visits to Harlow Wood Hospital were all treated in the same way – family tears together when notifications came, with Mum adding “now dry those tears and we'll get on with it”! Although our absences in hospital must have been so painful, Mum made sure that when we were back at home we could play just like any other children: playground jinks, school PE, handstands in the house, bikes for Christmas - plaster jackets withstanding! She even managed to source plastic rompers so we could paddle in the sea and play on the beach. Mum and Dad were such loving parents. I remember fun and mischief with Richard and neighbourhood friends, Christmas excitement, piano lessons, singing together round the piano, loads of cousins (mostly boys!), family visits, looking after rabbits, and the smell of fresh baking at Timmins where Mum worked when I was a teenager! Mum encouraged me - sometimes with tough love when I was a self-conscious teenage daughter and refused to go outside! She encouraged me at school (Homelands Grammar School for Girls – same as Mum, some of the same teachers too!!) Growing up and Clay Cross Hall Mum had returned to nursing and trained to gain RMN qualification as psychiatric nurse and as I started university she and Dad and Richard moved to Clay Cross Hall – a newly refurbished local authority residential home for older people, some of whom had mental health issues, where she’d been appointed Matron in 1966. Mum, I’m convinced found this a truly significant time in her life, a vocation and she carried it out with dedication, compassion and a great deal of fun and laughter. I remember the music, laughter and entertaining that went on – I was often a part of it!! Mum's support was always there right through to university and meeting Paul and getting married. I do remember we had some delicate negotiation there too – we wanted to marry at Christmas, Mum wanted Easter – so a compromise was reached and February it was!! Mum's 'Retirement' (!) It became clear that Mum had significant health problems but she never seemed to let it overwhelm her – MS, kidney disease, and osteoporosis. She was also helping to care for her parents too and all these brought her to the decision to retire from Clay Cross Hall, which she did in 1981 (age 56). She was soon increasingly actively involved as a volunteer– helping to run a local day centre, visiting older people at home and in local politics as a member of the Labour Party, parish councillor and district councillor – so no retirement there!! She was deeply committed to the community in Clay Cross and keen to see the provision of excellent local authority home care services, the development of Clay Cross Community Hospital and Clay Cross regeneration. She and Dad found time to enjoy holidays abroad with Richard and his friends, delighting in good food and wine as well as being good neighbours in the Shafton Close community and loving grandparents to our children Naomi and Simeon. Following my brother Richard’s sudden death with Leukaemia in 1994 Mum amazingly, with Dad’s support, became Chair of NEDDC 1996-1997, now 71 years old! She used that year to highlight and raise funds for Leukaemia Research. She finally retired from public office in 1998 but remained active and vocal in challenging the quality of care in hospitals, her community and neighbourhood and spoke often to gatherings as a service user of these services – warden visits, security and issues of isolation and loneliness. She and Dad discovered P&O cruises and were hooked! (The Caribbean, Mediterranean, Norway and Iceland (in 2002 inviting us to join them for our 30th wedding anniversary). Dad had suffered a number of heart attacks during these intervening years and Mum, with our help with hospital visits, appointments and general domestic help, continued to care for him at home. Dad died in hospital in 2006, an especially tough year for many of us in our family, and we give thanks to Dudley, Colin and Sylvia who gave Mum such wonderful support during that year. Mum even organised Dad’s funeral from her hospital bed! Mum's later years Mum returned home, with support from neighbours and carers, in April 2006 after the first of 3 fractures she was to experience over the next 6 years. During 2007 she “organised her own funeral service – choosing readings and music and the specific funeral plan!” So very typical of her especially after the difficulties our whole family encountered in 2006. She was able and determined to return to Shafton Close after the 2nd fracture, but after the tibial fracture in Dec 2011 she made her own decision to move into the Old Vicarage Nursing Home on May 4th 2012. What a great decision that turned out to be for her – she settled in amazingly well, was really content and safe and made new friendships with staff especially – her good humour, strong views were able to be expressed pretty much to the very end of her life. Mum loved writing poetry and did compose quite a number along with getting her life story written too, she took up some watercolour painting again. The loving care Mum received at the Old Vicarage and especially in the last few weeks of her life were really remarkable and Paul and I will never forget this. She maintained her independent spirit to the end, her body more vulnerable, so a timely release for her to join Dad and Richard. Thankyou dearest Mum for the role model you’ve been – strong, purposeful, determined, passionate in conviction, tough, single-minded; all wrought through sometimes hard and painful life experiences, but without any bitterness. You’ve encouraged us to squarely face life’s difficulties with courage, faith and confidence in God and to actively challenge injustice, neglect and indifference, wherever we might find ourselves! Margaret xx